life is fully in session

today I am celebrating my 3 months anniversary of living life with palm trees,  a warmer world, eating fresher than ever, and being at the edge of countless and endless possibilities. Life is fully in session.

---i am looking at my life experience with new eyes, new lenses, and i am learning to adjust the goggles when needed. i have shifted the view i have on most everything. I am surprised daily by my commitment to this planet and the people on it. I always loved the world, if you know me, you know this to be true, but now i see newness in my love. I am noticing the changes and the re commitment i have to myself as well. In order to make a ripple in the world i have to start with me. Being mindful of my thoughts and the words i use, but also the things i am physically bringing into my body. I never invested to much thought into what i am placing into my body and the nutrition of what we plant inside ourselves (foodie speaking). in the past i would eat what tasted good to me. And for the most part the goodness i was tasting was completely bogus. It was processed and no longer close to being what i needed to sustain healthy living. I was conditioned to just ingest what seemed to be delicious.  And what I have realized is I never gave food the power it deserved in my life. I was never conscious of what i was eating, and believe it or not, If i was eating. I always have preferred the drink over the sustenance. A coffee instead of an apple. That was the way I lived, it made sense for some bizarre reason. 

Now i am looking at labels...not calories or fat, i am not interested in that, i am interested in where the food was made, the quality, the beautiful word Organic printed so lovely. I am done buying food for the price point, I am worth more than that, and we as a planet are worth than a price. Buying local and fresh may cost me a few more bucks, and it will also benefit the longevity of my life, and that my friends is priceless. 

---the weather, oh the weather. the change in the climate alone will change a person. I have always been a layered girl, one who throws layers upon layers of fabric on my body and topped with a delightful scarf, that is how i saw my fashion, and I think it worked for me. And that's just it, it WORKED for me, past tense. I am now reinventing the joys of fashion. Wearing skirts without leggings, showing my forearms to the sun and leaving the cardigan at home, and when the sun starts to set, the delicious scarves come alive. 

i have never seen a tan on my skin before. I have seen and dealt with the pains of a sunburn, as we all have, but to have a brown glow upon your skin, wow, who knew it would make you feel so different. I always thought my sister Micah was the one with all the freckles, ha. connect the dots sister, I'm rocking the Irish glow.

---palm trees are still confusing me. love me an aspen, and a Doug fir, always have, always will.

---another joy that has been so incredible to me is the relationships that are forming. Having a hand full of people that i know here was the most nerve wracking of the move. I love my friends in Portland. and that was the hardest thing to 'let go' of. Yet the journey south has let me to surrender into relationships. I am so grateful that facebook for example letting me stay connected to those in my life that i am not willing to let go of.  The relationships i have had for years upon years have changed for sure, not being in the same city does that, and it also allows for new peeps to come into your life that you would never have had. 

the greatest surprise is finding a deep love for my cousin and who he is in the world. he is a talented and brilliant man, and cultivating a friendship with him has been a gift. I am always so amazed on how we can let family be just a lingering experience in our lives. never really working on making something more beautiful and loving, limiting the time we put into the people in our lives that by blood are placed in our lives on purpose. creating a fun, vibrant friendship with John has been such a grand lesson. I am beyond stoked that he is here and that he is not only a cousin, he is a my brother from another mother. 

i am pretty judgmental of people when i first meet them, it is a major flaw of mine. I tend to find things that are 'wrong' with them so i don't have to let them into my guarded life, and one day probably have to be vulnerable. WTF. that is so not the game i want to play anymore. I love people and love connection, i love laughing, and experiencing life. for so long this has confused me...i am such a people person, yet i make it so people don't want to be around me, silly silly girl. lesson learned.

the many thoughts that occur in a my mind can be a full time job. sifting through the thoughts i want to keep and the thoughts that need to be deleted forever, makes me know i am on the edge of infinite possibilities. We are all simply amazing beings, yes? formulating the strength to carry on from moment to moment, feeling empowered within yourself to make yourself live the life you want. imagine if you could be free of the fears and simply be the surfer of your own life. i commit to that for my life now, surfing the ocean of life.

i finally am at peace for once in my life. the pains of the past have forgiven and let go of, and i am happy to be present, thinking of who and how i am now, right now. the future is there, just like the past. Change is the only constant, and i am always changing as are you, as are we, as is the world. There is no need to be bitter or cranky about it. Fucking accept it. Once you accept it, the changes become comfortable and delicious, vibrant and beautiful. i am responsible for me, and who i am. i am responsible for my thoughts and feelings, my joys and fears, my laughter and tears. I am fully capable of hiding under a rock, or in a cave becoming a hermit, i just know that doesn't serve me anymore. I am also fully capable of living the life i dreamed of as a kid, or the life i am dreaming of now!!

sending my love to all of you. If you ever question who you are in my life, let me assure you right now that you are vital in my life. who you are in my life makes the world of difference, and you need to know that!!! consider this my care package to you!! (and if you are wanting to send me a care package, i am willing to accept, haha, no really, i am!!!)

peace in the middle east

KnM