stop...start

-stop spending time with the wrong people

become the person you want to hang out with

-stop running from your problems

become clear 

-stop lying to yourself

become honest with yourself 

-stop putting your own needs on the back burner

realize you are the most important person in your life

-stop trying to be someone you're not

you are essential, be yourself

-stop trying to hold onto the past

let it GO

-stop being scared to make a mistake

make a mistake, learn 

-stop trying to buy happiness

passion, joy, laughter, all free

-stop being idle

take action

-stop thinking your not ready

you are right here and right now Ready, take that first step

-stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn't work

now is the time  

-stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself

who wants to hear someone who has a case of the "WHAwhaWha's"

-stop holding grudges
let it go

-stop wasting time explaining yourself to others
let who you are speak louder than your words

-stop overlooking the beauty of small moments
take a moment and look around right now, beauty is alive all around you

-stop tyring to make things perfect
if it's not broken, why fix it?

-stop following the path of least resistance
leap

-stop trying to be everything to everyone
you already are

-stop worrying
remove the worry with the truth 

-stop focusing on what you don't want to happen
focus on the desire, the 'want' to happen 

-stop being ungrateful
Be grateful

xoxo

KnM

This is serious business people, seriously

Serious Business to me is the fact I have been so outrageously busy I have not been able to keep up with Jones'.....not even the Kardashians. It has been a whirlwind of crazy newness all around me and as my life.

I started to claim my desire, my wants, my needs, my hopes, and dreams around my birthday in September. I created a list of 31 things that I wanted to create in my 31st year, and hot damn, I am halfway there. What a trip. And some were ridiculous requests...gas prices to go down for example, and let me tell you, saving 35 cents per gallon is a huge blessing. It happened fast and i like it.

I started a new career in October. And i am really really stoked for what is revealing itself to me through this new path. I started working with some of the most amazingly genuine, creative people I have ever met, and I have met some people in my short time. These peeps inspire me everyday to be greater, to be more and more myself. To never fall into the shadow but explode into the light. It is humbling. It is what I have been looking for, and I know I am getting ready to launch into another epic adventure.

I am also creeping on a year in Southern California. I don't know what I think about this. It seems time has been a very intense and very fast. There are days I just can't stop smiling because of the joy and brilliance of my life here, and some days I cry myself to sleep because I ache for Portland. I miss the smell of the fresh rain, the laughter of my friends as we celebrate at the Horse Brass, the music in my ears from a show at Crystal Ballroom, the feel of a used book from Powell's, tator tots, independent thinkers, shades of green, bridges, my sister, my beloveds. I am everyday grateful for the life I led in P-Town, and even the shitty days were good days.

Life here is good. I have shaped into a better person, a greater woman, a more intense driver, and have fallen in love with a small group of extraordinary people. I am deeply in love with my family from another clan (there is no rhyme for this statement, usually i would write sista from anotha mista, or brotha from anotha motha, but the Murray's truly are my family from another Clan! that's truth!)

Life is just different. and with the difference you realize what you didn't like about the previous and what you miss. The feeling in my heart these past few days has been a deep sense of 'missing.' I have everything I need in my life, I am just missing people, places, and things. I need to hug my mom and dad soon. I need to toast my sisters. I need to laugh with B.  I need to walk a trail with Traci. I need to cook an epic meal and drink deliciousness with Jenn and Jeremie. I need to meet up with Valerie and discuss the next big adventure. I need to watch Dexter with Erin, Rob and Brody. I need to watch hockey with Hawker. MNF with Murr and Roberto. I need to randomly fall in love.  these are just a few of my favorite things. And the truth is, it is at my fingertips.

This past year has been moments upon moments of treasuring people in my life. I FUCKING LOVE my friends and family. if you don't feel my love for you, I am sorry, but this is a public announcement that I LOVE YOU. you make me tick. you make me want to be greater in the world. you make me taste the deliciousness of the world. if it wasn't for you, who would i be? really?

Being the person I am, and the way i operate i need a list. A new list of my next 31 things, 31 flavors for the next few months to set my life up for more enriching and 'off the hook' experiences....here i go

1. MORE NEW MUSIC, i am in love with music, and i am in need of some new tunes.
2. new clothes, or new to me, wowsa I'm not in the land of layers anymore, time to adjust accordingly.
3. trip to Washington and Oregon. (i claim right here and right now i will be in Portland by February!!!)
4. tattoo continuation
5. communication with friends
6. forgiveness
7. action towards independent living
8. passport
9. be purposeful in my choices
10. engage my artistic nature
11. create a new smell, patchouli might be retiring
12. self care
13. receive the gifts people want to give me
14. spend more time in silence
15. have more faith in my life
16. allow the lessons to be easy and allow for the lessons to be fun
17. except the fact i am greater than i beleive myself to be
18. become more vulnerable
19. read a book
20. listen
21. realize when to shut up
22. allow others to be whatever they need to be, do whatever they need to do
23. spend more time with people that worth my time
24. create a rad understanding of what is next
25. wake up refreshed, renewed, and ready
26. open up
27. step up my game
28. become active in creating a world that works for veryone
29. let go
30. be remarkable
31. be myself

feels good to be clear........ peace to you......and remember I FUCKING LOVE YOU

KnM

Deep Thoughts by K-Dawg

The formula for a grand summer is to conclude the season with a celebration.  To look back at the last 3 months and celebrate the successes, the creativity, the travels, the manifestation of spring seeds, and reflect on the new faces residing in your life. the excitement of what was, excitement of what is, and excitement of what is to be.

And as we step into the fall, the month of September especially, I notice that I am placing my thoughts into remembering and acknowledging life more than any other season. I turn 31 this month, a day that makes me so grateful for my family, the love and support of my parents, the brilliance of my friends.  

 The trees becoming vibrant in color, seeds are being planted to create another crop of deliciousness.

I have two couples in my life, with every one being super important in my life, that are celebrating their wedding anniversary on my birthday. It gives me permission to celebrate the love, the union, and the example of pure commitment. These 2 couples are inspiring and I am consistently and constantly inspired by who they are in the world and who they all are in my world.  And a wack-a-doo coincidence. Many blessings and love to these remarkable peeps.

The anniversary of 9/11/01. 10 years. First of all, time went insanely fast. Secondly, I am not acknowledging this day as a day of terrorism, not even for a moment. It was an alarm in my life, an alarm in my world. To awaken from the dream of ignorance of global matters, and become educated on what really is happening on the global platform. Saddened by the event, for sure, no question, I am also pissed off that we as individuals, communities, governments, as global citizens spend more time looking at the problem and not at the solution. What can we do to start healing, what can we do to start educating the cool kids growing up today, 9/11 being an event that happened as they were still playing with Barbies, My little Pony's and having scheduled naps. How do we educate this generation in knowing that attacks and war are NOT the norm, especially when thats all they experienced thus far in life.......so my request is we shift. Create a new today, Heal the past  so we can start living for today.




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take a moment and really grasp this concept!

So now for my birthday list 

#31 things#

(you didn't ask, but I think you may agree I am worth it, as you are worth it!)

1. to have the most epic, creative, fun, joyful, job that allows me to be me, and I am able to inspire the masses.

2. a few live shows that are worth my time

3. daily belly laughing

4. a trip to portlandia

5. a McGuirk 5 reunion

6. Gas Prices to reduce significantly

7. complete integrity and authenticity

8. camping on the beach

9. wake up every morning with purpose and passion

10. remarkable hike 

11. delicious cup of coffee with a delicious conversation

12. for my life to reveal its beauty and brilliance as me, through me. 

13. to forgive myself for the past, all of the past, and to begin to create a culture of compassion and creativity as a norm in all i do. 

14. to fall deeply, madly in love with people. the ones in my life now and the ones that will soon be entering it.

15. sushi, a lot of sushi

16. to not be defensive and fear conversations. to understand that every interaction in my life is a blessing. That truly everyone is conspiring on my behalf for a richer, healthier, loving life. 

17. to plant a tree for Sam in my parents new yard

18. to accept a compliment

19. to become an oxygen lover, and have a new sense of American Spirit. 

20. become a local

21. have all different crews meet and create a larger crew

22. tattoo extension

23. allow the gifts to flow in my life. I am ready to receive.

24. pair of orange TOMS....its time i become hip

25. passport

26. space to entertain, create, cook, laugh

27. be a witness to my friends dreams come true, and in return allow them to witness mine. 

28. endless supply supporter

29. become involved with 2012 campaign, focusing primarily on the new voters

30. bills paid on time, and have a rhythm 

31. to fall more in love 

<------------------------------------

NOW that is what I am talking about!!!!!

Happy September Peeps!!!

xoxo KnM

shifting into new gears

it has been a trip these last few weeks. the days melting and merging into one another. i have traveled across 4 states, thousands of miles, camping in the mountains for 9 days and now headed out on another adventure Sunday for yet again another week. Seems it has been a fun filled summer, and that is true, it is however been exhausting. Pouring energy into adventures that have given me more reason to be alone. to focus on my life, my needs, my life.

A year ago I would have jumped on any chance to have endless adventures and would have expressed endless excitement for exploring the world around me. Now these days all i want is, normalcy.

Normalcy for me would be routine. Work. Play. Friends. Family. Laughter. My day to be filled with what needs to be done, getting it done, and the joys of surprise wiggled in. I would have a sense of being busy and feeling delighted every night with what i accomplished.

Boredom doesn't work for me, and routine can create a sense of boredom, so I re-define my definition. I want to be creatively challenged. To feel inspired with what I do, and knowing what i am doing inspires not just others but ME. I want to get out in the world feeling purpose driven and creatively inspired.

This is what I am about. This is how I want my life to be seen by others. This is my mantra, the song of my heart. 
-be on purpose with everything you do. 
-forgive yourself for being hurtful, careless towards others and especially yourself. no need to change the people around you, focus on you. 
-call a friend or make it a point to reach out when your having a dark night of the soul
-surround yourself with people that 'have your back' kinda love 
-trust yourself, that is the only validation needed 
-ask for help
-laugh out loud
-be vulnerable 
-make new friends but keep the old....no one is silver or gold, we just are.
-realize that we have no expiration date. It is a constant reality that you have this moment, this moment alone. 
This is my to be list, formally my to do list.
-i am loving, living, and thriving.
-i have an amazingly delicious job, being myself, creative and brilliant
-i love being with my friends that lift me up, support me, and respect me, and I am the mirror 
-"got your back" love is a norm
-seeing my mom and dad and my beautiful sisters at least 4 times a year. 
-living in a place that is creative, inspiring, spacious, and welcoming
-always taking care of my needs and heart
-come from a place of compassion, knowing nothing is broken, so nothing needs to be fixed.
-greet every morning with a HUGE thank you and falling asleep in a grateful way.


And so it is, and so i let it be, and so it is.

be good to you today, and while your at it, be good to you everyday.

KnM

a Kristin fortune cookie for you

remembering that no matter where i am, no matter how I feel, no matter if i believe there is not enough for me, i can be reminded it is all bullshit. I am here on purpose. you are here on purpose, and we get to choooooose to be in love!

good day of love to you
KnM

check in

been awhile.

had so much to say and yet, so little. I am happy, in a calm, serene way.  Some days i want to crawl in a ball and be alone, surrendering into my day, and being quiet in my joy. Other days I want to groove like a soul train dancer, laughing a massive belly laugh and engaging with whomever I can.

the soundtrack has changed more than i could have imagined. live music serves my soul more than anything else, It always has been where i find myself to be most alive, most happy. and instead of stadiums or clubs, i am enjoying music in living rooms and cafes. connecting with the music, the people, the environment on a first name basis. High fives and side hugs. Connecting and contact sharing. It's as if I was made to network, who knew?

the people have become silhouettes of people I once had cups or pints of life with. the qualities of the crew in my life has shifted from friends of my youth growing into peeps that i will have in my future. i am creating a posse, a crew, an entourage of absolute potential. And I'm being mirrored in every conversation, called to be a greater better me, and above all i am being loved unconditionally.

the lesson has been amazing. no matter where i go, there i am. the 'everythings' of life are always present and that is incredible and interesting to take a bite out of.  my parents will still be my parents, all issues and love will always be until they change. my sisters will always be my sisters. available and willing, loving and compassionate.

the brilliance when i got it, i GOT it. and what a Got that was and is that i Got, hahah.
---Some people only know how to say Yes, they live from a place of Yes. Always wanting to serve. Then there are people that don't know how to HEAR no. They expect to always get and have and hear what they want with minimal compromise, and massive manipulation. SO i am here to hear what needs to be heard and be clear when I say yes or when i need to say no.

so i am discovering my passionate truth, and so far so good.

KnM

Location! Location!! Location!!!

doesn't matter where i am, or where you are. we are, where we are, and it's perfect!!!-KnM

Life's Fondue

days and weeks have melted into a big heaping bowl of processed cheese fondue. the kind that sticks to the pot, the roof of your mouth, and never seems to keep its heat.  I'm dipping possibilities into processes. seems the desire i have for sustenance is not giving me much substance.  or maybe substance for sustenance. either way I am experiencing a feeling that I am all to familiar with. Emotions and feelings that i wish to experience as a memory.

a dark day of the soul, nothing to worry about, or concern myself with. These are the days that lead to absolute Light and Discovery. These are the moments that I will look back on and be grateful that I had the courage to be real with myself and feel what needs to be felt. Sometimes the fear, lack, disappointment shows up in our life so we can get clear on what we really want. I change that statement....Its not sometimes its all the time. All experiences give us the absolute clarity to see what we can have, create, embody. Seems i have put on my foggy goggles today.

so what to do now?

be quiet...unplug...listen...and allow the glory of this life reveal itself to me.  laugh...feel...cry...and allow the true essence of who I am become more alive.  create...evaluate...demonstrate... and allow the brilliance that I am wake the F up. call...text...update...and allow it all to be from and for Love.

this is my blah blah blah blog for the day.....

maybe its time to find a new fondue recipe?

keep dipping

KnM

hungry

hungry for...

1. attention

2. love

3. food

4. friendship

5. interaction

6. communication

7. compassion

8. gratitude

9. rhythm

10. sass

11. surprises

12. flirting

13. conversation

14. excitement

15. satisfaction

16. fulfillment

17. music

18. laughter

19. creativity

20. results

21. release

22. forgiveness

23. healing

24. education

25. purpose

26. abundance

27. massage

28. prosperity

29. beauty

30. family

Is what I'm hungry for available as a combo? am i hungry because I feel empty? experiencing gluttony?

or is it what I have, so desiring it makes sense because i Know it's available?

we all feel hunger, physically, mentally, spiritually....the pains can cause us to become cranky, loopy, low energy, silly, intolerable.

my mission- Feed My Soul....Feed My Mind....Feed My Body.....

starting to feel full

KnM

what if....

what if you won the lottery today, what would you do first? who would you call first?

what if you ran into your favorite musician in the post office, what would you say?

what if you happened upon a lost earring, how would you feel?

what if you fell in love, deeper than ever before, with the perfect person tonight?

what if you are forgiven for all your mistakes of the past?

what if no one ever made an assumption about you, your life, your feelings?

what if you had the most amazing singing voice?

what if you could cook a meal that would have your fellow patrons at the table praise your talent?

what if you could travel anywhere you wanted, whenever you wanted? where would you go?

what if you started that business you have been dreaming of?

what if you smiled and they smiled back?

what if you never needed to know the answers to the questions?

what if you woke every morning kissing life right on the mouth?

what if you made things happen just by thinking they would?

what if you forgave yourself?

what if you asked another how they were, and you cared about the answer?

what if you were healthy?

what if you had discovered a genie in a bottle, and you were granted 3 wishes?

what if you were loved no matter what?

what if your heart didn't feel pain anymore?

what if you sang your heart out at karaoke night?

what if you could have no fears?

what if you allowed good to happen?

what if ....

living in the question 

KnM

Coming May 2011

meanwhile back at the ranch, she realized she was just as important and just as cool, with better style on occasion, and makes heads turn when she enters a room, creating curious thoughts of people all around.   "is she wearing that?" "is that........?!?"  "i know her...I knew her when..."

while driving people slow down to check her out, check her wheels out, possible take a moment to grab her attention. once you see her car, you could never forget it.

a sex icon, no. a political figure, no. a spiritual guru, no. something more promising, something that can't be put into words. She is an individual.  her status in the world is mind boggling and mind bending. almost as if it makes no sense, and yet makes all the sense in the world.

she is one that knows music before the radio stations get hold of it, manipulating the ears of  friends to listen, love and jam to. She always makes her way to the front row, connecting with the band and making her presence known.

she ponders life, philosophizes the whats, how's, why's behind the universe, and how her existence is essential. She also makes sure all who come across her path know there essential existence as well. She will tell you how beautiful you are. And how you make a difference in the world.

Her laugh, contagious. a trixter at heart and one who always enjoys the giggle and the laughter of  the crowd...even if its a crowd of one.

She loves people and connecting with as many as possible. She falls in love as much as possible, daily. Falling in love with people makes sense to her. Always finding a way to make her love known....and it comes from a  place of the heart, not the biological clock. Feeling the human connection is essential to her existance.

She is a sister.....through and through. Adores her family, and the add on's she has made in her life.

She occasionally spends moments in fear and self doubt. Knowing she can always be more, do more, be better and greater....When she needs 'quiet' time, this tends to be what she is thinking about. She is giving so much and when she fills empty, remind her of her brilliance. As she will always remind you of who you are

She is a wordsmith. Never educated in a way most have been. She learns from her experience of the world, and from conversations. Her classroom is our universe.

She has an appetite for beauty. Forgetting to eat because she is obsessed with discovering ways to appreciate the beauty all around her. She looks at a person and will compliment them, rarely feeling embarrassed by the bold move.

Loves exploring all 5 senses. Making the connection of her life with others. Formulating a master plan for the smell, taste, feel, look, and sound of life to join forces to nurture the growth that is demanding to be cared for.

She is who we all are....a child of the universe. Discovering everyday in every way how to be a greater  participant on the soil.

how is she different from the president (both have a birth certificate)? how is she different from your favorite celebrity? your neighbor? your boss? your mother? your pope?

living in this world all at the same time, reflecting what she sees in the world is a reflection of who you are being in the world. she is a master, as you are a master. she is global citizen, as you are. she has made mistakes, as you have made mistakes. she has loved, and loves, as you have.

Get ready world... she is becoming clear on her next move, her greatest creation yet, she will inspire you, illuminate you, and above all Call You to be a greater creator in your own life.

This film is not yet rated.

KnM

sleeping just to wake up

i woke up this morning feeling a Friday sense of freedom. smelt clean, clear, crisp, my three favorite c words.  birds chirping and dancing in the sky above me. chickens laughing and cackling with one another. ducks learning and canoodling in the water. flowers bloomed with pride and colorful delight. 


i sat and watched for only time knows how long. the sun beaming and kissing my skin, turning a soft chill into a bursting warm hug. hands rested upon my knees as i closed my eyes to look inside. my mind was the still asleep and i smiled with gratitude. my mind resting is a treasured gift. 


i feel woken up from a place inside that has been resting while my mind has been awake. witnessing life all around in all its glory, and seeing my feet on the earth, knowing i am seeing from a higher perspective.  and lets be honest, it is not comfortable at first. 


then i realized it is Wednesday...and yet who cares really? it is another day. another day that i have. that you have. another chapter for the book we are writing. i have no idea what the day has in store for me, i do know i don't have to Tolerate the day, I can fall deeply madly in love with it, I can dance with it.


moments in a day can take our minds to far off places. places of disappointment and anger. happiness and triumph. 


interactions with people can cause us to be inspired and supported, defeated and scared. Many times all in the same conversation. 


conversations with ourselves can lead to lists of victory and success, failure and have-to's. 


the first thought when we awake is an indication of what we brew on during sleep.....the amazing lessons learned when we allow the mind to quiet and allow the brilliance flow in the most magnificent way/ways ever.  falling asleep at night with things unsaid, embraces not felt, and especially falling into slumber with a hint of anger formulates unsettling thoughts in the subconscious, and it becomes alive in the dream world. 


remember dreaming as a child? dreaming was so delicious. it seemed to always be so vibrant and creative. dreams of flying and playing. waking up was so easy, deciding to start the day by running into our parents room and loving them, waking them up to be apart of the day with you, creating lists of projects that involved playing in the sprinklers, digging holes, hiding and seeking, eating with our hands, getting dirty, throwing, catching.....so so good. 


I'm learning to forgive myself for letting that child grow up. for taking life's wonders for granted. for allowing my fears to control my passion. for letting myself feel disappointment. for being embarrassed for my laughter. for being in a totally different place in my life at age 30 than i thought i would be. for falling asleep mad. for being out of control at times. for not letting my mind have rest. for serving everyone else, and serving myself last. for feeling like a taxi driver and not a friend.  for taking everything personally. for hiding behind, under, and all over my humor. 


today i forgive myself. 


i appreciate the lesson today. The way i woke. the way i will fall asleep and everything in between. a perfect Wednesday. i am grateful for the times i feel "less than" so I can be understanding to the times i feel more than. I am grateful i slept so that i could wake up.

"Forgiveness is the greatest kind of love there is

Best believe in what you can't see

Let faith be your evidence

You gotta shine a light on the path back to your home

Cause after all, forgiveness it is a long damn road"

BD and JM

living life in a good way, this day

KnM

Transition, Transformation, Transcendence

April 22 2011.......Good Friday

Today i am feeling the loss in a deep deep way. A loss that I never anticipated, never imagined. A loss of Sam, my 19 year old brother from another mother,  whom passed away in a sudden, unbelievable way on April 5. Being in southern California for the last 3 months gave me the gift of seeing, loving, experiencing life with Sam everyday, and allowed for him and i to cultivate, participate, and share the dreams and desires we had for our lives. he shared with me how he saw my life unfolding. what will be next for my life. how excited he was to watch my brilliance explode. Sam saw me, really saw me. Never questioned my motives, my passions, my desires. he lifted me up by supporting my thoughts and ideas. He was a cheerleader for the paths we are all walking.

Since the passing of Sam in the physical form I have entered into a role that I am surprised I could handle. I became a gate keeper, a body guard for the family. Holding the high watch for the feelings to be felt, memories to be remembered. I stepped right into a role of service to the Murray family, and by serving the family, I was being served. I learned the value of listening to my heart, and trusting what was 'mine' to do. I was gifted the 'job' of being an archway to the outside world.  It was overwhelming at times, joyful, and above all I felt Sam was my guide on this new path.

I nicknamed Sam "Samsonite" years ago. His brother Joe always told me Sam hated nicknames but Samsonite he loved. I never understood why I called him that. Now i get it. he is reliable, dependable, durable, and top shelf quality. Always has been always will be.

The path from this point is foggy to me. I feel I was placed here, at this house, with this family, at this exact time, at the perfect point in all our lives. Sam was known for saying "everything happens for a reason" yep, I couldn't agree more.  And now I continue to trust the process...knowing I am here on purpose. Here on this planet, in physical form, on purpose.

Some things for me to remember and remind myself, as I/we are experiencing this next chapter. The following are some Sam'ism's

1. feel the feelings to heal
2. Every moment is a treasure, a gift, we have no idea our expiration date
3. seeds of possibility were planted within me...it is now my job to water and nurture the growth
4. play in the dirt
5. eat locally and seasonally
6. be remarkable at being yourself
7. cherish everyone you have in your life, have no fear in sharing your love with them, hug your loves
8. if you want to learn something new, do it. google how, you tube it, every resource is available to us....literally at our finger tips
9. laugh out loud...have your joy be contagious
10. every thing we do impacts others. make responsible, conscious, beneficial choices.  Let our grandchildren be grateful for our caring of this planet.

Awe the thoughts are flowing. i am delighted with the time i did have with brother Sam. I have no regrets, or anger. I have memories of laughter, playing, adventures, playing music, cooking with one another, creating new catch phrases. Life is in session. Sam is all around, that I know is truth.

I won't let you down brother. I will be the greatest me i can be, and more. I love you Samsonite, always, in all ways.

deepest gratitude
KnM

life is fully in session

today I am celebrating my 3 months anniversary of living life with palm trees,  a warmer world, eating fresher than ever, and being at the edge of countless and endless possibilities. Life is fully in session.

---i am looking at my life experience with new eyes, new lenses, and i am learning to adjust the goggles when needed. i have shifted the view i have on most everything. I am surprised daily by my commitment to this planet and the people on it. I always loved the world, if you know me, you know this to be true, but now i see newness in my love. I am noticing the changes and the re commitment i have to myself as well. In order to make a ripple in the world i have to start with me. Being mindful of my thoughts and the words i use, but also the things i am physically bringing into my body. I never invested to much thought into what i am placing into my body and the nutrition of what we plant inside ourselves (foodie speaking). in the past i would eat what tasted good to me. And for the most part the goodness i was tasting was completely bogus. It was processed and no longer close to being what i needed to sustain healthy living. I was conditioned to just ingest what seemed to be delicious.  And what I have realized is I never gave food the power it deserved in my life. I was never conscious of what i was eating, and believe it or not, If i was eating. I always have preferred the drink over the sustenance. A coffee instead of an apple. That was the way I lived, it made sense for some bizarre reason. 

Now i am looking at labels...not calories or fat, i am not interested in that, i am interested in where the food was made, the quality, the beautiful word Organic printed so lovely. I am done buying food for the price point, I am worth more than that, and we as a planet are worth than a price. Buying local and fresh may cost me a few more bucks, and it will also benefit the longevity of my life, and that my friends is priceless. 

---the weather, oh the weather. the change in the climate alone will change a person. I have always been a layered girl, one who throws layers upon layers of fabric on my body and topped with a delightful scarf, that is how i saw my fashion, and I think it worked for me. And that's just it, it WORKED for me, past tense. I am now reinventing the joys of fashion. Wearing skirts without leggings, showing my forearms to the sun and leaving the cardigan at home, and when the sun starts to set, the delicious scarves come alive. 

i have never seen a tan on my skin before. I have seen and dealt with the pains of a sunburn, as we all have, but to have a brown glow upon your skin, wow, who knew it would make you feel so different. I always thought my sister Micah was the one with all the freckles, ha. connect the dots sister, I'm rocking the Irish glow.

---palm trees are still confusing me. love me an aspen, and a Doug fir, always have, always will.

---another joy that has been so incredible to me is the relationships that are forming. Having a hand full of people that i know here was the most nerve wracking of the move. I love my friends in Portland. and that was the hardest thing to 'let go' of. Yet the journey south has let me to surrender into relationships. I am so grateful that facebook for example letting me stay connected to those in my life that i am not willing to let go of.  The relationships i have had for years upon years have changed for sure, not being in the same city does that, and it also allows for new peeps to come into your life that you would never have had. 

the greatest surprise is finding a deep love for my cousin and who he is in the world. he is a talented and brilliant man, and cultivating a friendship with him has been a gift. I am always so amazed on how we can let family be just a lingering experience in our lives. never really working on making something more beautiful and loving, limiting the time we put into the people in our lives that by blood are placed in our lives on purpose. creating a fun, vibrant friendship with John has been such a grand lesson. I am beyond stoked that he is here and that he is not only a cousin, he is a my brother from another mother. 

i am pretty judgmental of people when i first meet them, it is a major flaw of mine. I tend to find things that are 'wrong' with them so i don't have to let them into my guarded life, and one day probably have to be vulnerable. WTF. that is so not the game i want to play anymore. I love people and love connection, i love laughing, and experiencing life. for so long this has confused me...i am such a people person, yet i make it so people don't want to be around me, silly silly girl. lesson learned.

the many thoughts that occur in a my mind can be a full time job. sifting through the thoughts i want to keep and the thoughts that need to be deleted forever, makes me know i am on the edge of infinite possibilities. We are all simply amazing beings, yes? formulating the strength to carry on from moment to moment, feeling empowered within yourself to make yourself live the life you want. imagine if you could be free of the fears and simply be the surfer of your own life. i commit to that for my life now, surfing the ocean of life.

i finally am at peace for once in my life. the pains of the past have forgiven and let go of, and i am happy to be present, thinking of who and how i am now, right now. the future is there, just like the past. Change is the only constant, and i am always changing as are you, as are we, as is the world. There is no need to be bitter or cranky about it. Fucking accept it. Once you accept it, the changes become comfortable and delicious, vibrant and beautiful. i am responsible for me, and who i am. i am responsible for my thoughts and feelings, my joys and fears, my laughter and tears. I am fully capable of hiding under a rock, or in a cave becoming a hermit, i just know that doesn't serve me anymore. I am also fully capable of living the life i dreamed of as a kid, or the life i am dreaming of now!!

sending my love to all of you. If you ever question who you are in my life, let me assure you right now that you are vital in my life. who you are in my life makes the world of difference, and you need to know that!!! consider this my care package to you!! (and if you are wanting to send me a care package, i am willing to accept, haha, no really, i am!!!)

peace in the middle east

KnM

LENT-letting go...letting in

Lent- "The 40 weekdays from Ash Wednesday until Easter observed by Christians as a season of fasting and penitence in preparation for Easter."
fasting- to abstain from food 
penitence-the condition of quality of being penitent; regret for wrongdoing 


Today, I am conscious of what millions are participating in across this globe. Participating in a very religious and spiritual act of letting something in their life go, or in other words, giving up something that has been seen in their lives as an addiction, or seen as wrongdoing. Many people choose to give up certain foods, alcohol, social networking, negative words, caffeine, etc. As much as i appreciate the act of giving something up, and giving it up for an act so personal such as a spiritual one, I find myself asking more questions in reference to this season of Lent.


When we choose to give something up in our lives,  do we need to to replace 'it' with something new? The energy of letting go only really works when you allow letting in. When I claim I am not going to complain for 40 days, what happens to that time i would complain? How does that time get filled? And after the 40 days am I granted permission to complain once again?




The acknowledgement of your habits and choices in life is a healthy view. Taking time to look at how you and who you are in the world. Taking moments to recognize your perfection in your imperfections. Being comfortable in admitting your feelings, good, bad, and indifferent. Being willing to do these on your own time in your own way, with or without ash. Allowing yourself the freedom of letting go, and being willing to let the newness in. 


Today begins a conscious 40 day adventure for millions. For me I let go of all the crazy thoughts of lack, insecurities, and ways that don't serve my highest good....and I let in the knowing that I am, as you are, an off the hook, one of a kind, brilliant, beautiful, creative, passionate, authentic peep that is here to make life ALIVE. 


feeling it?
KnM

Music- And the songs to listen to

Without music life would be a mistake.  ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I have formulated a playlist for my life right now. A playlist that can be played at any moment. A list of songs that speak to my core, why, because I give them permission to do so.

And I want to share, so I am.

1.Elderly Woman Behind a Counter in a small town- Pearl Jam

2. I'm a Wheel- Wilco

3. Rough Around the Edges- Teitur

4. Colder Months- Alpha Rev

5. And The Boys- Angus and Julia Stone

6. Long Road to Forgiveness- Brett Dennen

7. Three Hours- Nick Drake

8. Thistle and Weeds- Mumford and Sons

9. Dream Team- Michael Franti and Spearhead (must be Live)

10.Your Song- Elton John

11. Last Living Souls- Gorillaz

12. One Leap- Joshua Radin

13. This is your Life- Tyler Durden 

If you desire to listen to these tunes, more power to you! 

Keep Listening

KnM

A Blank White Page

The page is empty. Clean. Crisp. Clear.

My mind is seeing pure potential. Creating a masterpiece. Mountains popping, colors beaming. Words dancing upon the page. Possibly an anthem, a constitution, a poem for the masses.

If i start with a pencil, it gives me permission to take my creation back, and start again.

If i use a pen, I have to trust there is enough ink to follow through, and will it be the right color?

It's all a metaphor anyway, yes?

i am the writing instrument. The world is my blank white page. And i choose to be a permanent marker, making broad strokes and nothing can erase the brilliance that is placed on the paper.

blank pages are for creation!

KnM

Make Good Choices

Note: Please commit to reading the entire post...this is not intended for skimming or browsing...this is serious business :)

"So check it out right, I've tried every approach to living. I've tried it all. I haven't tried every thing, but I've tried every approach. Sometimes you have to try everything to get the approach the same, but whatever. I've tried it all. I've bought a buncha stuff. I went "ehh, I don't like that." I kinda came in and out of that a coupla times.

I thought I would shut myself off. I thought maybe that's cool. Maybe that's what you have to do to become a genius is you have to be mad. So if you can get mad before the word genius, then maybe you can make genius appear. Right? That doesn't work either.

And I'm in a good place. I've paced myself pretty well. I'm 30, I've seen some cool stuff. I made a lot of stuff happen for myself. I made a lot of stuff happen for myself. That's a really cool sentence when you're in your 20s, right? "I made it happen for myself." But all that means is that I've just somehow or another found a way to synthesize love. Or synthesize soothing. You can't get that, and what I'm saying is I've messed with all the approaches except for one, and it's gonna sound really corny, but that's just love. That's just love. 

I've done everything in my life that I've wanted to do except just give and feel love for my living. And I don't mean like, uh, Roman candle, fireworks, Hollywood hot pink love. I mean, like, "I got your back"-love. I don't need to hear "I love ya." You guys love me. I love you. We got that down. But some of the people who would tell you they love ya were the last people to just have your back. So I'm gonna experiment with this love thing. Giving love. Feeling love. I know it's corny but it's the last thing I've got to check out before I check out."


This is a excerpt from one the most amazing, brilliant, inspiring people of my generation. He speaks with such heart and eloquence, speaks from a place that is personal for him and is not willing to allow people around him to control his path. 


Has he made mistakes, yes! Has he embarrassed himself, yes! Has he failed, yes! Does everyone love and respect him, No! Has he had best friends that have left him after he moved onto a new life, yes! Does his parents and siblings still love and support him no matter the choices and  shenanigans he may get into, yes! Has he mastered his talent, yes! Has he made a difference in the world, yes! Has he allowed the world around him to bring him down, make up a story about who and what he is? No!! 


Have I been in the same shoes, yes!! (different size, same brand)


His words speak to me. They feel as if they are my own. The above statement he makes is my new mantra....my newness in action. It is mine to say thank you for the previous life I lived, so I say it, I write it, THANK YOU..and enter into a state of  'I Got Your Back Love." It is my turn world....my turn to rock the boat and make an off the hook statement. The question is, are you ready for the Kristin? Kristin is ready for  it!!!!


Many times in a day we may day dream of the 'what if's' and the reality you are living the what if's.   Last night, One of my most favorite friends Jami said to me "Everything you have done in life has brought you to this very moment!" To hear that makes it more real. i have absolutely brought myself to this very moment in time. Everything in my life is a complete result of the choices and actions I took. Now I get to make new choices. And sometimes i choose D. All of the Above!

(Thank you John Mayer for your words......I left this as the last line so people would read all the way through without any JM judgement!!!)


Make good choices....be yourself.....


KnM

29 days into 2011 (an attempt at a non-political statement)

The intentions and the resolutions are being looked at through a 29 day old, glazed over, whirlwind microscope. The thoughts of what would be, how they would be, feel like, smell, and taste like are far from the pre-conceived notion of how I planted 2011 into action.

I planted seeds of change, shift, newness, readiness, and willingness. Planted the seeds into a fertile soil, awaiting to nurture the growth and shift of life. The soil is new, mingling with a tad from the past to help it mature into soil for future seeds.

What I forgot was watering this new garden of intention with Patience. To allow the seedlings to grow in their right time.

I carried on, I lived my life, seeing the world unfold around me with deep amazement. Standing, and in most cases sitting,  watching the president speak to the United States at his 2 year mark. And yet I watched his country ridicule and criticize. People making accusations and assumptions. Yelling disappointments and anger. Criticizing a man that is doing by far more than I could at this juncture in my life. He is taking some steps to cleaning up, weeding and clearing out the 'things' that have not worked for us as a government and country.

And so I choose to be patient. I choose not be fired up with pissosity, but to be fueled by the power of change.  I choose to let the fertile soil nurture the seeds of intention that the leader of the country I live in can grow in a healthier way, a way we have never grown before. And for that i am honored to be a supporter of Barry.

I am not at all trying to be on a high horse. I am asking myself the same questions, and I am asking in a deep way.

This is not at all about Politics , it is about living the life we can live, everyone of us. Supporting one another in a world that can really work for everyone. Maybe I am just naive, but I do have FAITH that this is possible.

It is said that "thoughts become things," well if that is true let's pay more attention to the thoughts as they linger in the 8 pound mass in our head. Pay attention to the thoughts that we form into sentences and spit out of our mouths so freely. The words are manifesting into action.......that has shown to be scary business sometimes yes?

So my challenge to you, my challenge to myself. Let's grow a community garden together. Planting seeds of change, abundance, love, joy, laughter, etc. and nurture the growth of brilliant possibility. Watering the garden with patience and beauty. And holding one another accountable to clearing the weeds out. Being supportive of one another to manifest a reality that is delicious for all.

In all aspects of life, it takes time and focus. If you desire world peace, and you completely indulge yourself in an anti-war state of beingness you are creating more opportunity for the world to give you WAR. start to focus on being Pro-Peace. Being peaceful in your car, during rush hour, as that driver just flipped you off for not letting you in your lane because he didn't have his turn signal on. Be at peace when your life delivers a new reality, when you assumed you were headed one way, and you were pushed another way. Be at peace when your friends shift into different people and you are reinventing your 'group.' The truth is be at peace when you are shifting into a new person and the old ways, friends, way of life no longer serve you. be Pro-Peace.