Serious Business to me is the fact I have been so outrageously busy I have not been able to keep up with Jones'.....not even the Kardashians. It has been a whirlwind of crazy newness all around me and as my life.
I started to claim my desire, my wants, my needs, my hopes, and dreams around my birthday in September. I created a list of 31 things that I wanted to create in my 31st year, and hot damn, I am halfway there. What a trip. And some were ridiculous requests...gas prices to go down for example, and let me tell you, saving 35 cents per gallon is a huge blessing. It happened fast and i like it.
I started a new career in October. And i am really really stoked for what is revealing itself to me through this new path. I started working with some of the most amazingly genuine, creative people I have ever met, and I have met some people in my short time. These peeps inspire me everyday to be greater, to be more and more myself. To never fall into the shadow but explode into the light. It is humbling. It is what I have been looking for, and I know I am getting ready to launch into another epic adventure.
I am also creeping on a year in Southern California. I don't know what I think about this. It seems time has been a very intense and very fast. There are days I just can't stop smiling because of the joy and brilliance of my life here, and some days I cry myself to sleep because I ache for Portland. I miss the smell of the fresh rain, the laughter of my friends as we celebrate at the Horse Brass, the music in my ears from a show at Crystal Ballroom, the feel of a used book from Powell's, tator tots, independent thinkers, shades of green, bridges, my sister, my beloveds. I am everyday grateful for the life I led in P-Town, and even the shitty days were good days.
Life here is good. I have shaped into a better person, a greater woman, a more intense driver, and have fallen in love with a small group of extraordinary people. I am deeply in love with my family from another clan (there is no rhyme for this statement, usually i would write sista from anotha mista, or brotha from anotha motha, but the Murray's truly are my family from another Clan! that's truth!)
Life is just different. and with the difference you realize what you didn't like about the previous and what you miss. The feeling in my heart these past few days has been a deep sense of 'missing.' I have everything I need in my life, I am just missing people, places, and things. I need to hug my mom and dad soon. I need to toast my sisters. I need to laugh with B. I need to walk a trail with Traci. I need to cook an epic meal and drink deliciousness with Jenn and Jeremie. I need to meet up with Valerie and discuss the next big adventure. I need to watch Dexter with Erin, Rob and Brody. I need to watch hockey with Hawker. MNF with Murr and Roberto. I need to randomly fall in love. these are just a few of my favorite things. And the truth is, it is at my fingertips.
This past year has been moments upon moments of treasuring people in my life. I FUCKING LOVE my friends and family. if you don't feel my love for you, I am sorry, but this is a public announcement that I LOVE YOU. you make me tick. you make me want to be greater in the world. you make me taste the deliciousness of the world. if it wasn't for you, who would i be? really?
Being the person I am, and the way i operate i need a list. A new list of my next 31 things, 31 flavors for the next few months to set my life up for more enriching and 'off the hook' experiences....here i go
1. MORE NEW MUSIC, i am in love with music, and i am in need of some new tunes.
2. new clothes, or new to me, wowsa I'm not in the land of layers anymore, time to adjust accordingly.
3. trip to Washington and Oregon. (i claim right here and right now i will be in Portland by February!!!)
4. tattoo continuation
5. communication with friends
7. action towards independent living
9. be purposeful in my choices
10. engage my artistic nature
11. create a new smell, patchouli might be retiring
12. self care
13. receive the gifts people want to give me
14. spend more time in silence
15. have more faith in my life
16. allow the lessons to be easy and allow for the lessons to be fun
17. except the fact i am greater than i beleive myself to be
18. become more vulnerable
19. read a book
21. realize when to shut up
22. allow others to be whatever they need to be, do whatever they need to do
23. spend more time with people that worth my time
24. create a rad understanding of what is next
25. wake up refreshed, renewed, and ready
26. open up
27. step up my game
28. become active in creating a world that works for veryone
29. let go
30. be remarkable
31. be myself
feels good to be clear........ peace to you......and remember I FUCKING LOVE YOU