Thursday, November 25, 2010


This day is always such a bizarre day to watch from afar. The shoppers prior to the feast. The cars piled up on the freeway. The matching of scarves and mittens on everyone old and young. Newspapers open, corner to corner, displaying the 'extreme' sales and deals for the day no called "black Friday." A break in the work week. Remarkable shift in music, a station that plays 50% solid goodness shifts into 10% of tolerable tunes.

It is a shift. A day in which the world transfixes upon a Holiday Season of twinkle lights and Bad Sweaters. Overspending and Gluttony. 

And then another shift happens, a shift of how we, how I, can view the entrance gate of the Holiday Season. In the past I have experienced a sense of obligation to spend for no apparent reason. i have felt the need to have a red cup in my hand as i walk the mall.  It has always felt as if I was in a rush to get all this 'stuff' done and really I was missing the point all along!

The reason I am writing my thoughts is because I was reminded. I was reminded by my body instantly reacting to past experiences as I woke. And then I simply thought of this past year in my life and ways that the year has shifted me and how i shifted it.

I am Thankful in ways i have never been before. I wake and praise the sun that warms my face. kiss the moon goodnight. I cherish the hours spent with my sisters, my friends, and  days with myself.

I am Thankful for the music i hear playing in my ears. The laughter of a child. The Colors in the garden and in the sky. the words I am writing. the pen that forms a remarkable design and now is permanently placed on my skin.

The shift was I woke up. I am not rushing anymore. I have chosen to live the day, not race to to get to the end of it. Living in the moment.

The days from now until Christmas present a challenge for us all (no pun intended). Will we soak in the beauty of the winter? the hibernation of our soul? Or simply be unconscious to it all, and fall back into the ways we have 'done' it before. falling back into a old habit------Leaf that for the Fall :)

My 10 Things i am Grateful for This day and Everyday
1. laughter, above all this makes me alive in ways only the vibration in my chest can bring.
2. family, the relationship i have cultivated with my mother, father and sisters serves my life more than i could ever have imagined. they are, and always will be fully employed as Life's cheer leading squad.
3. my boy crew, to have been the girl in the midst of these men continues to blow my mind away.
4. love, falling in Love as much as possible with whomever and good.
5. creativity
6. friends, the nectar of life is found in my love affairs with everyone that i cherish and call a friend.
7. adventures, being in the question and creating a memory to lean into
8. collaboration, with fashion, people, organizations, ideas- the collaboration of brilliance creates beauty
9. music, holy mother of all that is good, hahahah, music is where it is at for me. the gift of the performer sparks the gift within me that i am just beginning to unwrap.
10. being myself

So on this day I thank you for reading this, being an active participant on this planet, being remarkable, alive, and simply being the one that someone will fall in love with this day!

Be Yourself!


Monday, November 15, 2010


Today the rain washes the streets. The paths are fading into one another, forming new paths. The past creeps in as I begin to focus on the newness of this life I live.  What are the things that I have done right? What are the things that I have done wrong? These questions cause a special conversation in my head. Becoming deeper and deeper involved in the what ifs and the why not's.

In all aspects of life, with everyone you meet, new and old. When you are alone, or in the midst of the crowd, the same 'thing' is occurring. You are constantly and continuously asking questions. Every conversation is an interview. We are interviewing one another based upon what we have been taught, and also to gain more information on the perception of the person we are engaged with, including ourselves.  We then formulate publication of the interview.  Our brains filled with magazine racks. Filled with all the interviews of the past and the present. From the flight attendant to our grandma on our mothers side. Interviews for years.

Whats the basis? Whats the point? why do we focus on hearing the answers? What is our business?

Is the answer in the answer, or is it in the question? Or is the answer in the experience of living the question?

Why do I want to learn more about you from questions? If the only you I have access to is the one right here and right now? The experience gives me grounding on who you are, not the answer to the question "whats your favorite ice cream?"

I have published many many interviews about every person I have met. From the people I met as a child to the people I meet day to day now. I am learning that i don't want the answers any longer. I want the feelings and the experiences. i want the surprise of learning that your ice cream flav is cookies and cream. Walking into every moment anew.


Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I-5 South

I am soon moving to a place I never for a moment believed I would live. Southern California. A place where I believed to be filled with silicone, tanning salons, and characters walking the streets trying to look like the cool cats of the time before (Marilyn Monroe, Elvis). As a younger teen, I believed this place to be a wonderland of artificial intelligence, a place for failure to come alive, as one in a million are the successful. it was always a cool place to visit, because i knew I would soon go back home to my life in Colorado or Oregon. 

When the crazy idea appeared for me to move to So Cal, it tasted a bit different than before. it was sweeter. it was matured. the idea brewed and aged into a remarkable reality. the 'this's' and the 'thats' all started to fall into place and it made and makes complete sense for me to shift into a California residence.  The idea of conforming into an artificial lifestyle is a complete lie. i am not conforming, I am shifting into a greater me, right? that's the truth for any new adventure, right?  that's the reality of everyday, for everyone, right?

I find myself 'pro'ing and con'ing'. And the results are hysterical. the cons are silly, and have nothing to do with my current address, or future address, it has to do with a fear I might not find the  friends , the hippest coffee shop, the local beer,  and that my favorite things will somehow leave me. My music can't divorce me. My best friend of 20 years will still call me. My sisters will still laugh with me, even if we are farther away. Its just a change in scenery. And i still find myself pondering the greatest question us humans deal with....."Will they like me?"

Taking a leap is essential to know who you are. taking life by the hand and escorting it down the yellow brick road. I am ready. and in the move, i will discover one thing above all, i am human. This is the time. this is the place. and for those that are supporting me, thank you. 

I traded Aspen trees in for Dogwoods, now i trade in for the Palm tree. 

The wizard has nothing on me,