Holiday Wish

(My platform to share my Holiday wish)

Dear Citizens of the World,

as another year comes to a close, reflection on the experiences that occurred in our lives this past year begins. A year that had some feelings of fear, disgust, and depression...on the other hand a year filled with promise, rejoice, and serenity.  

I personally experienced the spectrum of emotion. From work security, love loss, friends marrying, babies being born, tattoos, live music, heart break, depression, celebration, turning 30, moving.......And at the conclusion of every experience, the same 'awakening' occurred. The same feeling resides within me. The absolute overwhelming expression of who I really am, who I really want to be, who people really see me as, is waking up. I am ready to live the life i have been so scared to live. I am ready. And in all the experiences we have in the world, in our world, in our day to day lives, the truth is we are all given what we can handle, word? WORD!!

My holiday wish to the world, and Santa is listening!!!

1. For us to start looking at one another in the eyes, even a simple glance, connect with the people around you.

2. That we Give of your time to the people, organizations, churches, mediation groups, shelters, whatever it is that, That inspires you. The places that place that good feeling in your belly.

3. Having a moment everyday where you bless the other parts of the world. However you feel comfortable in doing that, just do it. reading these words is  privilege, that means you have a computer or iPhone, or fancy technology...where in other parts of the world the focus is clean drinking water. 

4. For every woman, man, and child to be able to look in the mirror and see the beauty that they are! 

5. For children to be safe. In their homes, communities, schools, playgrounds, and in their own minds and hearts.

6. That the nations of the world let go of "who you love". the focus is a celebration of  saying YES to love. 

7. Learn to Forgive. 
8. We only buy what is needed

9. See one another as brothers and sisters, not enemies. Creating a world that works for everyone!
10. May everyone in the world be able to smile because something so good is happening in their lives. 

This is my holiday wish.  I smile at the blue sky, the green trees, and embrace the pure beauty that is all around us.


Be You!!!


KnM

Elemental Packing

24 days.

24 days to release.

24 days to categorize.

24 days to pack.

24 days to be. present.

Kristinism

This day is always such a bizarre day to watch from afar. The shoppers prior to the feast. The cars piled up on the freeway. The matching of scarves and mittens on everyone old and young. Newspapers open, corner to corner, displaying the 'extreme' sales and deals for the day no called "black Friday." A break in the work week. Remarkable shift in music, a station that plays 50% solid goodness shifts into 10% of tolerable tunes.

It is a shift. A day in which the world transfixes upon a Holiday Season of twinkle lights and Bad Sweaters. Overspending and Gluttony. 

And then another shift happens, a shift of how we, how I, can view the entrance gate of the Holiday Season. In the past I have experienced a sense of obligation to spend for no apparent reason. i have felt the need to have a red cup in my hand as i walk the mall.  It has always felt as if I was in a rush to get all this 'stuff' done and really I was missing the point all along!

The reason I am writing my thoughts is because I was reminded. I was reminded by my body instantly reacting to past experiences as I woke. And then I simply thought of this past year in my life and ways that the year has shifted me and how i shifted it.

I am Thankful in ways i have never been before. I wake and praise the sun that warms my face. kiss the moon goodnight. I cherish the hours spent with my sisters, my friends, and  days with myself.

I am Thankful for the music i hear playing in my ears. The laughter of a child. The Colors in the garden and in the sky. the words I am writing. the pen that forms a remarkable design and now is permanently placed on my skin.

The shift was I woke up. I am not rushing anymore. I have chosen to live the day, not race to to get to the end of it. Living in the moment.

The days from now until Christmas present a challenge for us all (no pun intended). Will we soak in the beauty of the winter? the hibernation of our soul? Or simply be unconscious to it all, and fall back into the ways we have 'done' it before. falling back into a old habit------Leaf that for the Fall :)

My 10 Things i am Grateful for This day and Everyday
1. laughter, above all this makes me alive in ways only the vibration in my chest can bring.
2. family, the relationship i have cultivated with my mother, father and sisters serves my life more than i could ever have imagined. they are, and always will be fully employed as Life's cheer leading squad.
3. my boy crew, to have been the girl in the midst of these men continues to blow my mind away.
4. love, falling in Love as much as possible with whomever and whatever...so good.
5. creativity
6. friends, the nectar of life is found in my love affairs with everyone that i cherish and call a friend.
7. adventures, being in the question and creating a memory to lean into
8. collaboration, with fashion, people, organizations, ideas- the collaboration of brilliance creates beauty
9. music, holy mother of all that is good, hahahah, music is where it is at for me. the gift of the performer sparks the gift within me that i am just beginning to unwrap.
10. being myself

So on this day I thank you for reading this, being an active participant on this planet, being remarkable, alive, and simply being the one that someone will fall in love with this day!

Be Yourself!

KnM

Interview

Today the rain washes the streets. The paths are fading into one another, forming new paths. The past creeps in as I begin to focus on the newness of this life I live.  What are the things that I have done right? What are the things that I have done wrong? These questions cause a special conversation in my head. Becoming deeper and deeper involved in the what ifs and the why not's.

In all aspects of life, with everyone you meet, new and old. When you are alone, or in the midst of the crowd, the same 'thing' is occurring. You are constantly and continuously asking questions. Every conversation is an interview. We are interviewing one another based upon what we have been taught, and also to gain more information on the perception of the person we are engaged with, including ourselves.  We then formulate publication of the interview.  Our brains filled with magazine racks. Filled with all the interviews of the past and the present. From the flight attendant to our grandma on our mothers side. Interviews for years.

Whats the basis? Whats the point? why do we focus on hearing the answers? What is our business?

Is the answer in the answer, or is it in the question? Or is the answer in the experience of living the question?

Why do I want to learn more about you from questions? If the only you I have access to is the one right here and right now? The experience gives me grounding on who you are, not the answer to the question "whats your favorite ice cream?"

I have published many many interviews about every person I have met. From the people I met as a child to the people I meet day to day now. I am learning that i don't want the answers any longer. I want the feelings and the experiences. i want the surprise of learning that your ice cream flav is cookies and cream. Walking into every moment anew.

Published,
KnM

I-5 South

I am soon moving to a place I never for a moment believed I would live. Southern California. A place where I believed to be filled with silicone, tanning salons, and characters walking the streets trying to look like the cool cats of the time before (Marilyn Monroe, Elvis). As a younger teen, I believed this place to be a wonderland of artificial intelligence, a place for failure to come alive, as one in a million are the successful. it was always a cool place to visit, because i knew I would soon go back home to my life in Colorado or Oregon. 

When the crazy idea appeared for me to move to So Cal, it tasted a bit different than before. it was sweeter. it was matured. the idea brewed and aged into a remarkable reality. the 'this's' and the 'thats' all started to fall into place and it made and makes complete sense for me to shift into a California residence.  The idea of conforming into an artificial lifestyle is a complete lie. i am not conforming, I am shifting into a greater me, right? that's the truth for any new adventure, right?  that's the reality of everyday, for everyone, right?

I find myself 'pro'ing and con'ing'. And the results are hysterical. the cons are silly, and have nothing to do with my current address, or future address, it has to do with a fear I might not find the  friends , the hippest coffee shop, the local beer,  and that my favorite things will somehow leave me. My music can't divorce me. My best friend of 20 years will still call me. My sisters will still laugh with me, even if we are farther away. Its just a change in scenery. And i still find myself pondering the greatest question us humans deal with....."Will they like me?"

Taking a leap is essential to know who you are. taking life by the hand and escorting it down the yellow brick road. I am ready. and in the move, i will discover one thing above all, i am human. This is the time. this is the place. and for those that are supporting me, thank you. 

I traded Aspen trees in for Dogwoods, now i trade in for the Palm tree. 

The wizard has nothing on me,

KnM

Guilty!

Streets of San Fransisco KnM 10/09

While having a delicious morning with some rad friends of mine, I was accused of falling in love, a lot, more than any other.  It was a shock to hear at first and after thinking about the accusation for 19 seconds i came clear. Out in the open. I admit it. I fall in love as much as I can, as often as possible. Seriously I do. 

The moment I see a nice leather bag, love. A smile from a stranger as I let them walk across the street, slowing down my car, making eye contact, a simple wave......oh yes, you guessed it, LOVE.  The brilliant conversations that makes it 'all' make sense, Love.  Watching the clouds form from an elephant to a T-Rex, Love. Singing in the shower, tunes made especially for my ears, Love. Talking to my papa and mom, Love. Meeting a random gent, laughing loudly in the streets, Love.

Why not? It is what I got. It is the absolute most delightful feeling and expression I have. It is boundless. Warm when I am cold. Savory and Sweet. The 'it' I speak of is my preference, and I have a choice.

Being it,
KnM

Happy Birthday John!

Imagine there's no Heaven 

It's easy if you try 

No hell below us 

Above us only sky 

Imagine all the people 

Living for today 

Imagine there's no countries 

It isn't hard to do 

Nothing to kill or die for 

And no religion too 

Imagine all the people 

Living life in peace 

You may say that I'm a dreamer 

But I'm not the only one 

I hope someday you'll join us 

And the world will be as one 

Imagine no possessions 

I wonder if you can 

No need for greed or hunger 

A brotherhood of man 

Imagine all the people 

Sharing all the world 

You may say that I'm a dreamer 

But I'm not the only one 

I hope someday you'll join us 

And the world will live as one 

The Trees and The Water and The Sky and The Sand and.........

Yesterday.

A day for a drive.

the city of Roses in my rear view mirror, as the Pacific becomes front and center.

This door is to remain unlocked when building is occupied!

this sign is posted above or near most business doors around the world. It is a massive attempt to ensure the safety of all the consumers coming in and out of establishments.

i have seen this sign countless times in my life, countless times in a day even. what struck me today was this is a 'mantra' for our body, our life. Its a statement reminding us to keep the beingness of who we are open until we are official closed for business.

This door-     your body, mind

Is to remain unlocked-  open

When building is occupied- your still alive, awake and alert, yes?

I think the reason this sign means so much to me today is because of what is happening around us in the world today. The minds are caving in, and becoming closed! There are handfuls of cases in the past month of people choosing to close there business (their body) because of social embarrassment and feeling locked out from the world around them. 

I spent this last Sunday morning in dialogue with over 25 teenagers, discussing the reasoning's for 1) teenage bullying and 2) teenage suicide.  The conversation caused me to get Pissed, Angry, and then Inspired.

I was pissed for one main reason- these teens don't feel that there schools offer help, an outlet to talk, and a safe place to be themselves. I heard one young man "well there are resources for help, and hot line numbers, but this is something that the school's don't advertise."

That's when i became angry. Having a unsettling feeling that in some odd corner in a pile of other fliers and stuff, there might be a brochure that can save a life. Is this acceptable? Is this something that i want to fix? is this OK? good enough?

My deepest passion is youth! I have always been and always will be an advocate for teens and the lives they live. I am in constant awe of their brilliance, their strength, their struggles. And i choose to be a safe place for them to be themselves.  In some way I have become a hot line.

That thought created a deep sense of inspiration. These youth do not desire a day filled with bullying and being a victim to someones BS (belief system.) These youth desire a world that works for everyone. A world deeply rooted in compassion, inclusively, and authenticity.  A world and a life that remains unlocked .


Stand with me in knowing that we are for something and against nothing!

We have a grand chance to shift into a new gear as a human planet, by taking action for a healing! Let the safety of our children begin, do what you can, do what you will, knowing that the greatest gift in all of this is.........finally becoming more and more authentic as yourself!


Occupancy-check!

KnM

Sleep Signing

Everyday is new, this we know to be true, no need to drill that truth deeper. 

It came to my attention today that we are always experiencing and developing more and more ways to defend our experiences. We create reasoning's for why we feel the way we feel, why people are the way that they are. This food is better than that food. Listen to my music, its better than yours.  It is a constant defending of the 'why' we do things as humans.  It started millions of days ago with the concept of permission.


we have been raised in a state of living that is constantly giving permission to the things, people, and places around us for whatever reason. 


permission allows us to be OK with what is happening. it makes us feel in control. it permits action. 


For whatever reason I am in a world that permits war. that permits starvation. that permits lack. these are a few of the things that are happening everyday in the world, that i truly believe can be healed.  Yet i am in a constant argument with myself on how I gave permission to these events that disgust my heart so. How did I, and when did I? 


For years upon years I have formulated an opinion of what is so wrong with the world around me, and how it can be ugly? Why do we as humans do such gnarly things?  Why are people so insanely miserable? cranky? mean? That's when the light bulb appeared for me. I have been giving one of the most powerful tools we have as humans away.....My permission.....to things that I do not want to serve my life any longer. 


By focusing on these situations, people, etc that I don't jive with, my focus is me signing the permission slip. Its insane to think about. 


For years upon years our human nature has been living with a permanent marker in our hands, signing off, and permitting the destruction of our planet. We are sleep signing. 


Now for a hippie moment............ Ask yourself what have you been sleep signing? Seriously think about it. Have you been giving yourself permission to live an unhealthy life? I am fat, and that's just the way it is!     Without even thinking for a moment that all you need to do is rip that slip up and sign a new one!  Being healthy and loving my bod is off the hook, I'm a hot mama!


Today I am changing the ink on this pen of mine. With more and more attention on the signing, it becomes more and more 'mine'. I become more invested and engaged in this idea of living my life. I am conscious. I am singing what i want to sing, wearing what i want to wear, writing whatever I want to write, and ultimately developing one hell of  a world that more peeps would want to live in. 


Signing above the dotted line,
KnM

'shuffle' is the new psycic

 You simply ask the question, hit shuffle on your i (Phone,Touch, Pod) and there you have it, a universal affirmation to your question. No matter the question, big or small, your music library holds the answer.  You not only get the answer, you also get a nice 3-5 minute answer that has a beat, a tune, and if your lucky some significance to your life.

Is there anything better than asking the question

"Am i ever going to find true love?"

----------------------shuffle--------------------

Answer "Child of the Ghetto" by P Diddy,

seriously brilliant! that completely answers my question. I mean day in and day out pondering the question humans everywhere ask "true love, am i worthy? will i find it? will it find me?" and for P Diddy to sing to you....
" A child of the ghetto, nobody explain it to me
Livin the scripture the picture they painted for me
Knew what it wasn't, it wasn't the game or the greed
Rippin it runnin and gunnin and aimin for me
A child of the ghetto, nobody explain it to me
Livin the scripture the picture they painted for me"

(Insert uncomfortable sarcastic laughter here)

I mean does shuffle have that much control over me? Why yes it has and yes it does! Hit that shuffle again. get that answer you want. Do it. Do it! 


"Am i ever going to find true love?"
----------------------Shuffle---------------------------

Counting Crows- Round Here 


Nope, that's not good enough


----------------------Shuffle---------------------------
Elliott Smith-A passing Feeling


Well, great song, doesn't answer the question at all


----------------------Shuffle---------------------------
Dixie Chicks- Ready to Run


The title makes me feel sad


----------------------Shuffle---------------------------
Amy Grant- O Come all ye faithful


Oh HELL, what is going on here?!?!?!?!?!


----------------------Shuffle--------------------------
Dave Matthews Band- Crush


AND WE HAVE A WINNNNER!






I want to take all my previous statements back, the shuffle feature just makes you a bit more depressed, anxious, possibly creates a bad taste in your mouth. 


Lesson Learned- erase some music from my library.


In Jest,
KnM

Commencement Address

This was requested of me yesterday out of the blue. This middle aged man saw me and recalled my words from last spring. He shared with me he wanted a copy of it for his patients to read before they enter the operating Room.  Below is the commencement address I delivered to the high school graduating class of 2010. As I re-read this, I was blown away by the connecting 'rule' in all of it. Enjoy, as we are all graduating something right here and right now.


Rules to Live By.
By Kristin McGuirk


1. You are the generation of text messaging and facebook. You desire instant replys, and comments, understand the only reply or comment needed, is that of your own Heart.
2.Make a commitment of serving your passion daily!  Drawing for an hour a day, researching political forums, creating an email stream to be on Oprah. CREATE time to nurture that burning passion within you.
3. Tip a min of 20% 
4.Wear Beauty on the outside to show the world your beauty on the inside.
5. Laugh out Loud
6. Vote. No excuses. Vote.
7. Call your loved ones. Make a commitment to voice your love to your family and friends. 
8. Shower. Good hygene wins points.
9. pay attention to the butterflies in your tummy.....there is something precious in that.
10. Know your NO's....Know your Yes's
11. Be grateful to the Giants whose shoulders your standing on, one day you will be that Giant!
12. Create a daily spiritual practice. Commit to your spirit, your worth it. 
13. The only Reality to watch is the reality show your living. 
14. if you ever meet John Mayer, Remember me.....
15. And above all, above all the rest, Be Yourself, Your the best YOU around!

Cheers
KnM

laughing at the obvious

listening in...

I am confessing to you readers and to myself of a habit I have that I have yet to determine if its ok to have or not to have. (and no its not being so great at run on sentences.)


I am a listener.

Not in the sense of you and I in a conversation, and when you speak, I am listening. More of when you are in a conversation around me and I have no idea who you are, I tap into your conversation. Not even on purpose my ears chime into your voice and I am listening. Deeply listening. I noticed my 'habit' in a strange way today as i was sipping a french press of aged Sumatra at a favorite local coffee house in Portland. This place smells of thought and tastes of determination. I am in love. i feel energized just walking from my car to the front door, I know my appointment I have with this french press is far greater than the one I could have at a corporate, get your ass out the door, here's your crap coffee house. This joint is pure and romantic. I am left alone wherever i sit to do what I need to do, draw, write, type. Its the perfect mistress. A delicious mission.

Oh back to my point, Ha, listening. I was caught off guard by these two older men that sat at the table next to mine. They were easily in the early 70's and reminded me of what Albert Einsteins Bff's looked like. They both were wearing fantastic sweater vests,  not Cosby sweaters, but sweaters that you knew have seen more of this planet that i have dreamed of. They sipped ever so slowly espresso from black demitasse cups and neither needed a plate for the ceramic, for they were also mission induced.

These two fine gents spoke in a very soft and cryptic manner at first, and before i could even look up and smile at there table of 'wisdom' the gent closest to me slammed his hand on the table and in the most 'determined' voice demanded his fellow man to hear his statement. 'If Facebook was not around, neither of us would have a relationship with our Grandchildren!!!'


And that's when the listening began. I was now fully engaged in the conversation of the generation that never had technology....a generation who's family lives where the most important relationships...whose generation is now being demanded to join in on the necessities of what seems to be the greatest relationships we have, our hundreds of Facebook friends.

I continued to listen as they discussed the whereabouts of their grandchildren. The one who is in Korea teaching children English. The Grandson who just decided to travel the Grand Canyon for the third time this year. the Granddaughter whose research is being published in an upcoming Medical magazine.

I wanted more as they both got up and left. I wanted to ask questions about who they are. If their grandchildren are this outstanding because the stories and lives of these two fine men.  it floored me. I am in Awe. The listening gave me a great gift. No matter who you come in contact with, there is a life long story that Hollywood has nothing on. the amazing beginnings and endings and adventures lie within us all. I know someone is always listening to you, as someone is listening to me.

Ears open!
KnM

answer is in the question

The answer is always in the question. For example when I see a sandwhich board asking me if I am going to heaven, and there is a test with only two questions to determine my life after life outcome, my brain tends to wrap itself around more questions. Why the HELL is it determined by a test, pun intended. Why was this poor wood used to create this sign? Is Heaven a vacation spot, and all the cool kids are passing the test so they can attend the new 'Cancun' for spring break next year? Is there a memo I missed?!? 

The truth is, nope i am not GOING to heaven. Seems impossible to go somewhere I already have  a permanent residency at. This mystical place where the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny reside, happens to be where the super hero KDawg and Santa Claus frolic in the fields and call heaven. 

Hope I passed the test!

KnM

Something to follow.....

The Best part about being in traffic is noticing the expressions of the people behind you. What thoughts appear in the brain as they follow a bright Orange Element  with tattoos of 'i love you' and a simple mantra of 'follow your folly.' It amazes me to be honest, that we cant express the truth without the judgement. And yet who I am to judge the judger (spl?)? Being negative or positive, its all a judgement.......and so i shall worship the element and the blessing it is to it's followers! oh the power of the stickers!

Ordination

in the mist of remembering many 'rights of passages' in my life, 30 has become the year of true ordination. I am viewing the world i live in completely different way. a way that finally makes sense. I have taken it upon myself to see the life I am living as the most valuable item, thing, and material i own. its a transformation in 'view' to see the life i live as a sacred, remarkable, trans formative force in the world. I am not claiming that i have status or even desire such a title, its just a perception of acknowledging the air i take into my body is on purpose. the words i speak are on purpose, the thoughts i think are on purpose. What if i could live a fully purpose driven life? what if we all could live a purpose driven life. A life that is so beyond masks, cars, money, food, clothes....but a life that was spent laughing in the midst of our very brilliance. a thought that is ready for action.

just sayin'
knm

The new era

9.18.10

The purpose of this blog...hmmmmm, great question. I hope I find a remarkable answer, and if i dont, at least I know its all in the journey. 

I know why I am not here.  I am not here to promote my thoughts as the end all. I am not here to produce a platform for my political and religious views on and in the world. I am not here to create a expression that i cannot live up to. 

Simply I am here to be me, and to be the best me I know how to be. To express the thoughts in my mind, the feelings in my heart, the tastes on my tongue, the smells of the world around me, and simply laugh with the brilliance of this world!

It's all gravy.

KnM